Good morning. I hope all is right in the world. My world is awesome, but my mind is a jumbled mess. Sometimes, just stop and smell the roses. Just to get through a moment, an hour, a day. . . . .I have a happy life, a very fulfilled life. Some people would look down their noses and say something nasty about my world, others are envious. My world is cycle of highs and lows, just like everyone else. I’m not special in any way and won’t pretend like I am. I wanted to voice a view of myself with someone close to me this past weekend, but was compared with another person and that was the end of that. I feel out of place because I am so in debt. It’s my fault about the debt. I left a job that, at one time, I loved (another story) and settled for one that I thought would be right down my alley, working from home. Unfortunately, the hours keep getting trimmed back and now, I have to use a credit card to pay for groceries. The gas to heat our home has to go on credit card. Anything extra has to go on the credit card. I keep this secret from everyone I know. Now I try to find great deals on zero rate cards where I can keep juggling debt and making bare minimum payments until I either find a better paying job, or win the lottery. I’d have to play the lottery in order to win it, but I don’t have a bunch of cash to pay for tickets. Vicious circle.
The media gives us lots of things to blame for the costs of things, but, as an adult, I know that I should have kept my salary way above what things cost. I failed and now the house of cards is crashing down around me. I’m not in danger of losing anything, like my house, but this is a crushing weight on my shoulders. I’ve worked since I was 15 years old and now my life has come to this? The same credit card debt I’ve always had? Years ago, I could call a company who’d slap my hand about how much debt I was in, reconfigure it, make settlements where I wouldn’t have to pay so much, even though I spent it myself. Now, I have discovered, that any of the difference between what your balance is and the amount of the settlement has to be reported to the IRS and taxed. Now, why is that? This is supposed to be a way out of a problem, but comes back to bite you when you file your taxes.
Feeling better now, so I’m closing out. Hope it’s a great day.